you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
