Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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