ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize