I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
