I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
