Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
