I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
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