Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
