Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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