Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
