Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me

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(410): View more from Maryland

I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.

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(631): View more from New York

i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth

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(703): View more from Virginia

look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys

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(419): View more from Ohio

We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball

(419): View more from Ohio

And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity

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(415): View more from California

MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?

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(563): View more from Iowa

Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Shit happens dude.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.

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