I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize