they need to just BURY HIM!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize