would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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