I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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