well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
