It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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