You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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