But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
