Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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