He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
