So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize