jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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