have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
