Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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