Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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