Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
