So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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