just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
