I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
