my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
