Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
