after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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