ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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