i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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