we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
