Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
