Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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