She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize