Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
