remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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