This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
