Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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