Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
