i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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