And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
