So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
