What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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