We named our party play list daddy issues
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
