your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
