is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
