If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
