Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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