He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
