wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
