I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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