it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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