i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
