Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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