The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
