I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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