So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
