It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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