I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I need to calm my uterus...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
