Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
