In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
