I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
