i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
