went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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